Brain Teasers, Science/Physics Jokes, Politics and World Affairs.


Postby PHY » May 10th, 2007, 7:43 pm


It has long been known that... ---> I haven't bothered to look up the reference

...of great theoretical and practical importance ---> ...interesting to me

While it has not been possible to provide definite answers to these questions... ---> The experiments didn't work out, but I figured I could at least get a publication out of it...

The W-Pb system was chosen as especially suitable to show the predicted behavior... ---> The fellow in the next lab had some already made up

High purity... Very high purity... Extremely high purity... Super-purity... Spectroscopically pure... ---> Composition unknown except for exaggerated claims of the supplier

A fiducial reference line... ---> A scratch

Three of the samples were chosen for detailed study... ---> The results of the others didn't make sense and were ignored...

...handled with extreme care ---> ...not dropped on the floor during the experiments

Typical results are shown... ---> The best results are shown...

Although some detail has been lost in reproduction, it is clear from the original micrograph ---> It is impossible to tell from the micrograph

Presumably at longer times... ---> I didn't take the time to find out

The agreement with the predicted curve is:

excellent ---> fair
good ---> poor
satisfactory ---> doubtful
fair ---> imaginary
...as good as could be expected ---> non-existent

These results will be reported at a later date ---> I might get around to this sometime

The most reliable values are those of Jones ---> He was a student of mine

It is suggested that... (It is believed that... It may be that...) ---> I think...

It is generally believed that... ---> I have such a good objection to this answer that I shall now raise it.

It is clear that much additional work will be required before a complete understanding... ---> I don't understand it

Unfortunately, a quantitative theory to account for these effects has not been formulated ---> Neither does anybody else

Correct within an order of magnitude --->Wrong

It is hoped that this work will stimulate further work in the field ---> This paper isn't very good but neither are any of the others on this miserable subject

Thanks are due to Joe Glotz for assistance with the experiments and to John Doe for valuable discussions ---> Glotz did the work and Doe explained what it meant
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